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By Dan Boever "Say Uncle, come on say it"
-Loosen your grip to increase clubhead speed.
"Spread em' pal"
-You must widen your stance for a more powerful coil.
"Hey, I get Golf Digest!"
-Find a qualified PGA Pro and get the right equipment for you.
"I've got your 110%..."
-85% BEATS 110% every time.
Easier Swing = More Control = Better Contact = LONGER DRIVES!
"Circles, Squares and wrong angles"
-Proper setup gets you in position to make solid contact and provide total compression of the golf ball.
"Fairways and greens are for the richer not the poorer..."
-Everyone
likes the odds in their favor, hit the ball in the fairway off the tee
and your odds will go up as your score goes down
"Come to Mommy..."
-Look
at the whole "big" green on approach shots and not that very "small"
area around the cup. Think of the green as your Mommy calling you home!
You may just mess up and hit it close.
"Me and Tiger use Balatas..."
-Hey wake up, harder golf balls go farther. If you drive it 220 you don't need more spin, you need more bounce and roll.
"Go directly to jail and give me your $200 Dollars..."
-It
is not a real good idea to make a divot with your driver. This would be
classified as a sin by some members of the golfing community. Tee it up
high and hit the ball on the upswing.
"Mind if I play through..."
-It's ok to celebrate your birthday on the golf course. It is not ok to celebrate two of them during the same round.
"I can't wait to be depressed about being here..."
-Play golf the way it's meant to be played, have fun.
"You scoop ice cream not golf balls..."
-Balls
around the green need to be played in the back of your stance and hit
with a descending blow. Hit down and balls go up. Scoop balls and
SCORES go up.
"Book of the month, wine of the month, putter of the month..."
-Pick a putter and stay with it. Switching all the time only helps manufacturers.
"Grenades and horseshoes..."
-Master the lag putt and you'll save hair and money. Close doesn't count here, how many 18" putts do you really miss?
"Hit the "Big Dog", stud..."
-Don't
let your testosterone get the best of you. Hitting a 3 iron off the tee
instead of a driver does not make you any less of a man, or woman.
"Yeah I hit it 340 every time..."
-Good
golfers are not as impressed with how far you hit it as how low you
score. Work more on lowering your score than you do on your story
telling.
"I'm gonna go ahead and take my mulligan now..."
-Translated:
My game and my score %$#^*so I'm going to cheat. Count em' all and putt
em' all. You will feel better in the morning.
"Stompin ants while the elephants are running loose..."
-Business and golf both require us to focus on those areas that produce the best results. Have a plan when you go to practice.
"Drive for dough and putt for show..."
-If
you can't put your drives in the fairway the putts will only be for
show. Spend the time needed to put the ball in play more often.
"Quiet please...THAT MEANS NO BREATHING..."
-When
you are not hitting, observe the proper rules of golf. When you are
hitting, don't blame every bad shot on someone elses talking (within a
two county area) |
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